Monday, June 29, 2009

quick sand

I'm too tired.
Ever felt like moving and doing something, but your mind isn't letting you. I been through this battle too many times and Im simply tired of it all.
I know we all been there. I just gotta remember this is natural,this is natural,this is natural, this is...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

change of plans

Ima marry rich. One day as i stroll along the Upper East Side on my way to class, I'ma run into one of the cast members from NYC Prep and its gonna be all set from there. I will drop outta college and instead of going to class, I'll go to Bergdorf's. Instead of shitty vendor food or caferteria shit, I wil be devouring the best foods of 4 star restaurants. Drive?Suway?Bus/ NAHH! I will have a personal driver to push the whip for me. Life would be grand. I would no longer be in a situation of I wanna be an artist but premed is a secure option. Money would be out the question I would'nt need to major in something to have a secure future, I can do what I want whenever I want.


But, the inner feminist in me won't allow myself to act like that. We're from opposite worlds anyway. I want love and drunken eyes. I want to have the balls if you will, to be the one to ask for the prenup NOT the guy. I want to pay for the dates to feel independent and even emasculate him, but that would be unintenional but yea its a perk of it all. And if he ever cheated on me I want to be able to not have to worry abt finances and how Ima survive without him


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

sitting on the stepping stone

or that is what they say.

But,for me, nah I never listen. If I was to devote myself to this theory completly I would not be where I am today.I would've been happier. For I would've took a plunge into an aqueous solution, one that I was unsure of, but one that I truly did love, or was madly infatuated with.
But.since I didnt follow that, I'm in a mud hole. An intersection. Divided into three paths. There's no good path and bad path,right or wrong,fun or boring. But, there is logic and just plain stipid. First love or my second one. Passion or security. Pleasure or Pain. Lace or Leather.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

the scapel,the story, or the paintbrush?

I need a breather. To figure it goals etc . The scapel,the story or the paintbrush?

Monday, June 8, 2009

double post in one day

There are times when all I want is a white coat then there are times when I wanna splatter it with acrylic and oil paints. What is there to do? I want the easel and the scapel.

moving along

so far so good.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

La Blogotheque- Grizzly Bear

is so beautiful that its hauunting. Cant stop listening to the song on my zune/watching the video on youtube. All of their shows soldout so I missed out on my chance to see them play in Williamsburg last week. :(

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

epic fail

All we need as humans I believe is an epic fail. No, failing your road test doesnt count. By this I mean to fail at something that you invested so much time in. Something that you probably wouldve done for the rest of your life or perhaps someone that wouldve been in your life forever, but things didnt work out. The epic fail allows us to move on to become fearless individuals. Besides after losing something/someone that meant so much to you, you later become immune to any form of hurt. You lost what meant the most to you so as so you establish this "Fuck you pay me" attitude towards life. If you pass a class you pass it if you dont you dont. If things dont work out with your new siginifcant other, oh well I felt this before shit happens I can move on, I been through this before, Im still alive still strong. Once you hit "rock bottom" or lost a dream that meant the world to you, sooner or later you will just not care as much,this epic fail which at the time probably felt severe and terminal, can actually be a blessing. I experienced the epic fail. At first I was crushed which is natural and kept my wall up which is still there sad to say. But as time passes I became more relaxed and enjoyed life for what it is no expectations no nothing. And the outcome was fantastic . Everything went according to "plan" because you know why there was no plan,therefore no expections=no lost.
basically once you have reached the epic fail in your life,and you realize that somethings are meant to happen is when you finally get to enjoy things for what they are,which is just wondeful
So epic fail this is to you