HELP ME FIND A CAMERA!!!!!!!

ok so I know I've been ranting and raving about how much fun I'm having on tumblr on blog spot nonetheless. I been so inspired by this blog called fuckyeahcitylights and the photos on that blog that I finally decided to get a camera!! My first digi-cam that I had SINCE 2003 BROKE!! Which is ok bc I definitely got my moneys worth. But, man did I have a whole lot of memories on that thing even though it was only 3.2 MP which at that time digi cams were just starting out and that was a big deal for me at that time. And just like your first car despite how shitty it might be dents and all, it will always be your baby because of all the memories you shared with it.Same goes for my Kodak Easyshare 3.2 MP digital camera. I'm going to miss that bad boy...

As some of you may now I always wanted to dabble in photography and more than ever I think I need it as an outlet thanks to a major somewhat traumatic experience that has happened to me a few weeks after school has ended. I want to just take pics to know that there is STILL some beauty left in this world. Now I'm not going to go out and buy some $4000 DSLR, because I don't want something too professional ,nor something too amature. SO these are my runners up I guess or ones I'm thinking of I'm going to be ordering from either walmart,kmart or best buy.com nothing too fancy, i just want a camera to follow me like a sketchbook and to be my therapist bc I need it now.


OPTION#1

OPTION#2

OPTION#3

OPTION#4!
I heard some bad things about Figi Film is it true?

OPTION#5
i LOVE the price on this one lol!!^^

OPTION#6



What option should I chose??

FUCK YEAH STREET LIGHTS

SO OVER BLOG SPOT SO OVER IT!!!
TUMBLR IS WHERE ITS ACT way more fun and the blogs and bloggers on the site as whole Is just better plus the layouts are dopesickk

my fav tumblr blog so far I ve been re blogging them o.d
check then out here::fuckyeakstreetlights

CLICK BELOW ON THEIR BLOG PAGE AND CLICK ARCHIVE TO VIEW MORE. I know tumblr has a million diff layouts and its all orchestrated differently.

another tumblr blog im following love the owl kissing picture there too btw!!
TUMBLR FTW!!fuckyeahhappy

and ofcourse check me out::
heyhellcatlovesYOU

COME WITH ME!!

HEY CATNAPPERS!!

Ok so I'm doing this 30 day challenge on tumblr and on my youtube channel, therefore this blog won't be updated as mUch for The next 30 days because I'm investing ALOT OF TIME writng and filming my entries for the challenge, but its a whole lot of fun.

For me informnation on the challenge check it out here :: TUMBLR

If you guys don't have a tumblr feel free to leave the comments here on this blog if you wanted to cmmt my tumblr, but you don't have a tumblr account and you wanted to leave me some feedback or sugest me more movies.music or whatever the challenge of the day maybe.....SOO GO CHECK IT OUT!!
XOXO

A BIRD IS JUST A BURDEN

Ok so school is finally donezo so therefore I can resume back my blogger duties:) and what a better way to start of my first blog post in a while then to post music since this blog is kind of my YouTube channel/music/random writing blog.

ALSO I MADE A TUMBER CHECK ME OUT HERE!

OK so we all know Pete Doherty from the photographs with him and my idol, Kate Moss doing what appeared to be a cocaine like substance and we also know him from dating that train wreck Amy Winehouse!! Unfortunately, he is known for what he does outside of work then his actual musical talents which kinda sucks. We shouldn't judge entertainers by what they do in their personal lives. Their jobs are to give us quality acting,singing dancing etc. I don't know why people change their opinions on them once they find out about their personal lives.YES Amy Winehouse is a talented women I'm not going to remove her songs from my ipod because of whatever she does at home. Its none of my business as an "enertainment consumer" to judge what people do outside of entertainment.


With that being said I give you the poetic Pete Doherty. You can feel the "sad" in his songs and guitar playing. There is something very Paul McCartney (make because he is English also hahah)/Dylan about him.I don't mean that they sound alike just something about him reminds me of those too I don't know why. If you like that you hear check out Pete's old band the Libetines, his new band the Babyshambles or his solo stuff my just searching his name.
BOK CHOY AND ENJOY



ooh and this song really isnt about his ex fiance, Kate Moss, can you guess the real meaning??

I'm still alive once finals are donezo I will be back blogging missed u all
xoxo

WORDS OF TRUTH

It doesnt get any better then Motorhead

"I tell you we are doomed my friends
Our time is come, our time is come
We live within a charnel house
Rotten to the core
We glorify lust, greed & pain
We drown our hope in poison rain
We point the finger, shift the blame
Ambition makes us whores"

----From the Song "March or Die"

"GUYS ARENT SUPPOSE TO POUT"

I'm not the biggest Ke$ha fan, I do enjoy some of her songs to dance too and I have about 5 of her songs on my ipod but, I only listen to about 2 1/2 of them (I listen to one of songs but notfrequently as I do the others). I have to say she has the FUNNIEST interviews I ever saw. If you want to see good,funny interviews youtube her or Gaga because they say/do the funniest things I ever saw on a television interview that most famous ppl dont do. I randomly came upon this video and I just found it funny for some reason lmao. I also love her reaction towards HORSE the band lmao it was my EXACT reaction when I heard them too. And would've knew she liked Steel Panther and Slayer well from her "appearance" you prob would've guessed that or whatever.

PARK AVENUE PRINCESS OR EAST VILLAGE ANIMAL

Uptown girl trapped in a downtown girl's body?
or is it vice versa?
Sometime's I think I'm a downtown girl trapped in a uptown girl's body due to my standards of living, but I can only blame that on the neighborhood I live in, where money,nice homes and BMW's are frequent.

this is a complete pointless blog, but I felt like dissecting myself a little but today.

UNTITLED

cigarettes, tattoos and leather is what bought us together

INSPIRATION

My style icon as of right now. If only I knew where to find pieces like this...

Spring Fashion

My style is changing. Me and my friend Justine talked about how we evolved throughout the year. At first I was a very calm and "artsy" type and though she is still there Im becoming more "bolder" and Ive been digging things with this ol school NY/L.A. "rock and roll" edge. type vibe.(I'm putting these labels in ""because I dont like to use labels:] but, how else am I going to describe what I'm talking about haha)

So today I thought I will show you some outfit ideas I've been into lately.Since I been doing the youtube beauty vids I think I should also make my blog about beauty as well.But, dont worry there will still be music and my random thoughts in my blog too:)


Ok so I know this shoe isnt conventional and I know most ppl will find a fashion faux pas but Im a SUCKER for floral prints.And I think I will be able to pull it off also I think once you wear a pair of dark skinnies it will bemore toned down and it will look more "vintage-ey"

Retails at topshop for a hefty $70




This is another floral print I adore! I wouldnt wear it with the floralboots but I wanna show you guys anywayu because its soo cute to me!!Another topshop item Retails at $70. Its a very sweeet dress curl your hair up and wear a cardigan you will look like a cute romantic French girl :)

So I wanted to keep this one short because its my first fashion blogger post.So I Hope this gave you guys some ideas for the spring.
Bok Choy and Enjoy
xoxo
Hellcat

JEWEL

Read this article. This must be the answer to why Jewel's songs are soo close to home for me. I really do feel like she is in my head we have way too much in common. We need more Jewel's and Fiona's and less Gaga's and Ke$ha's.




http://www.theboot.com/2010/03/15/jewel-blog-5/?icid=mainaimdl2link3http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theboot.com%2F2010%2F03%2F15%2Fjewel-blog-5%2F

PERCEPTIONS OF REALITY

Ok so I'm going to try to blog at least 3x a week minimum maybe more. I think it will be a good thing. So lets get started.....


According to http://www.merriam-webster.com

imag·i·na·tion
Pronunciation: \i-ˌma-jə-ˈnā-shən\
1 : the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never before wholly perceived in reality

re·al
Pronunciation: \ˈrē(-ə)l\
1 : of or relating to fixed, permanent, or immovable things (as lands or tenements)
2 a : not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory

para·noia
Pronunciation: \ˌper-ə-ˈnȯi-ə
1 : a psychosis characterized by systematized delusions of persecution or grandeur usually without hallucinations
2 : a tendency on the part of an individual or group toward excessive or irrational supiciousness and distrustfulness of others

il·lu·sion
Pronunciation: \i-ˈlü-zhən\
1 a obsolete : the action of deceiving b (1) : the state or fact of being intellectually deceived or misled 2) : an instance of such deception
2 a (1) : a misleading image presented to the vision

Ok so we have imagination, real,paranoia and illusion.It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see where I might be going with this and the correlation the words have with one another.

I've been called several of time by family and friends that im "weird" and I agree with this we are all weird and those who call me weird are just hiding themselves which to me is the weirdest thing of all.
Now look at the definitions there really isn't that much of a difference between paranoia and imagination. Except if you're paranoid you're certifiable an outcast and if you have an imagination you're creative and you think outside the box.

But who is to say what other ppl see isn't real? We are all one may say "blessed" with different gifts AND curses. You KNOW what you see and I Know what I see. Just because you don't posses the gift or curse that one may say God gave me doesn't mean I'm crazy nor does is make you normal because you don't see it.

For me REALITY IS PERCEPTION. .You perceive your reality there isn't a textbook or psychiatrist that can tell you otherwise to try to make you perceive THEIR reality

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that those serial killers that go on rampages because they "felt they were being told to by an alien" or some shit like that is right. Because that is wrong I don't condone that at all.I believe that they just say shit so they wont get a harsher sentence and they can plea insanity.

I'm just talking about how you perceive the world in your eyes and how some people may see things that others don't see but they aren't necessarily evil things though and because some people may see images or things you don't see doesn't mean they are certifiable even though the ones that do harm to others might be lmao.

Basically I'm just getting tired of people calling me weird and doubting my thoughts and perspective. I don't doubt your perspective because I don't have your eyes and I can't judge nor do I have any intentions on judging anyone.

Just to reiterate....
Disclaimer:::: I'm not condoning anyone who harms others because they "see" things.

Lily Cole

I always loved pics like this a white background and just a plain face she has hardly any makeup on (so jealous btw) and I know that models actually get jobs when they go to the "go-see's" with little to no makeup on because they like to look at models as a blank canvas so with that being said makes me so jealous bc they are gorgeous without the fkn makeup lmao. I will love to take an empty pic like this one day lol The other Playboy pics are posted above^^^



You hardly see any girl on the cover of Playboy who doesn't have a curvy body well here is the first lol

She is absolutely stunning and she looks like a porcelain doll she inspires me maybe she can inspire you?

In 2 months...

In two months I:::

• lost a best friend(by lost I mean we arent bff's no more)
• lost a scholarship due to not having enough credits
• rekindle past memories that werent pleasant
• had to deal with a boy who I really dont know and he gives me bad vibes
• got told to lose weight by someone I work with
• moderate anxiety due to all of the above
• slight mild depression due to all of the above but nothing to serious:)
• slight relapase (read the relpase post again Im not on drugs nor did I ever use them)

Seriously Its not even MARCH yet oy veyyyyyyyyy

this is WAYY tooo much for a 2 month time period ALOT to handle.

signals

Its only 2 months in the New Year and it went from bad to worse in a blink of an eye.
oy vey

R E L A P S E

To kinda reiterate what I said in my previous entry below which was more about a guy. I wanna say again that people simply cannot say certain things.You don't know how its going to affect them. You don't know what sort of things the person went through and you simply cant say certain things.


I'm in a very dark place right now and I wanna get out of it.But I know myself. The venom is trying to find its way and slowly its getting there. I think it might be too late, hopefully not.I NEVER been in a dark place before. I know most people been in a dark places before perhaps after a breakup or not gettin accepted in a college or a death of a loved one etc.


www.merriam-webster.com defines the term relapse as:

1 : the act or an instance of backsliding, worsening, or subsiding
2 : a recurrence of symptoms of a disease after a period of improvement


Now I'm not saying I'm on drugs. I never touched a drug in my life and have no plans what so ever to do so.But a relapse to me can be anything it can be going back to your old habits of not studying, going back to an ex who didn't treat you well, spending too much money after you promised to yourself you are goingto start budgeting etc.
It doesn't always mean drugs and/or alcohol abuse well to me it doesn't.

BEING PICKY

Ok OK I know I'm pretty picky. when it comes to a lot of things. Yes I want a cup of coffee but there is now way I'm have a sip of your decaf. Yes I need new jeans but if they aren't super skinny jeans from urban outfitters umm yea I'm not wearing them.



I need to switch up my mentality and mind set. Its quite unhealthy. Because at the end of the day there is always something that we can "pick"at to make us unhappy. Like for me and the whole boyfriend sitch for instance. At first I thought the reason to why I'm always single is that perhaps I'm not very attractive. And I still do believe that and NO this isn't a call for pity and for me to indulge is some harmless self loathing but its what I firmly believe still to do this. I mean srsly. Anywhoozer if I keep being picky I'm never going to meet/do anything and once when I started to let my guard down and make progress on my cynicism an asshole finds away to fuck with my mental state of mind which is too personal to write about here only one person knows what I'm talking about and I'm sure she is reading it:) thx btw :)


This year my new years resolution is clarity and funny thing is two months in the new year and guess what my life is far from clear right now.

BTW
this post I have been writing and editing for abt 1-2 weeks so I can't write on this topic anymore because my head was in a diff place.Asyou can see in the first pargraph or so I was more potimistic but towards the end it went back to being cynical.And to think I was actually feeling that yes, I should give ppl a chance and be less picky until yesterday which basically confirmed that I was making the right choice by sending ppl away ,not giving them the chance and staying away from people.

If ppl only knew how much their actions affect people. I'm sure ppl wouldn't hit on ppl as much, maybe they would and just not care despite the emotional baggage the person they are hitting on may have. And also despite how their actions can cause them to relapse and remember all they wanted to forget.

For some reason Im real anxious over the silliest thing and Im sure Im making a bigger deal out of it then what it really is.I feel like I'm the overdramtic princess right now and I'm normally the ice queen. I like being the ice queen too. She keeps me safe.
I thought I woulkd get over this but its been haunting me in school and I been shaking in class for no reason and I'm out of harms way there.

Im sorry for anymone reading this bc no lie I feel like I'm being soo dramatic and I hate dramatic ppl. Im the fkn ice princess what happened?

xoxoxo
hellcat

ORGASMATRON

Motorhead listen and look

I MADE A.....

YOUTUBE CHANNEL
go subscribe and tell your friends lol so far I have 13 subbies:) I didnt even think I would get 1 subbie lol
My channel is basically universal:
-vlogging
-hair
-makeup
-singing
-dancing
-maybe art? if I can find a way to put that up lmao
BUT GO AND CHECK IT OUT
xoxo
hellcat
http://www.youtube.com/user/angieterror

P.S
Im still working on bucket list of 100 things so far I have 54 when I get to 100 I will finally publish the post ooh and SPOILER making a youtube channel is one the things on my bucket list:)))

Expiration dates

everthing has to expire.
but if you keep it pass its expiration date
it can hurt you
because expired items are toxic
and if you keep expired milk past its expiration date it will become
sour.

Franny and Zooey

"It's everybody, I mean. Everything everybody does is so--I don't know--not wrong, or even mean, or even stupid, necessarily. But just so tiny and meaningless--and sad-making. And the worst part is, if you go bohemian or something crazy like that, you're conforming just as much as everybody else, only in a different way."

--Franny and Zooey, J.D. Salinger

R.I.P J.D. Salinger

Feelings?I bury them.

Lately I've been feeling like a need to change.I dont know what exactly I wanna change, but I know something needs to change. I feel this urgent need to move to Cali, L.A as a matter of fact. Yes I know the born and raised New York girl movin to the west coast which is basically considered a sin here in NYC, but I feel there is something out there for me. I told my mom that Im thinking about dedicating my life to music on the car ride home from bestbuy and her response wasnt exactly what I've been hoping for. Because there wasnt a response at all. She just said my vocal voice is getting better.So I guess I have her blessing...



ALSO

Apart of this change is my apperance. I wanna be pretty. And please dont leave me one of those"But Angie you are soo pretty" comments because I wont believe you for

1.) You're my friend and you are being nice

2.)For pity



and I want NEITHER!!!



I've been getting into makeup alot lately to well make up for what Im lacking. Dont you believe the word"make up" is a dis in itself? Beacause you are making up for the beauty you dont have.



I was once one of those gals who wouldnt care abt makeup and I thought I was better off without it,but now my self esteem is going back to that dark place it was in high school.AND I CANT GO BACK THERE AGAIN!

But how else can I fix these feeling unless I work towards a prettier me which means being less low maitainence and bobby pinning my hair back as my go to look for school and actually style it. And perhaps to wear more makeup besides mascara,lipgloss and liquid eyeliner.


soundtrack to my life right now:::
ofcourse it is....
I have the lyrics posted below beceause Jewel is more then a singer she's a poet and she herself even said its important for the listener to pay attn to her lyrics (or she said something like that dont quote me!!)and to unbderstand her art you really have to read the lyrics




Lyrics :
a man stands in the doorway like a small child
angry fists
she lies in her bed her head buried in her pillow
she stares at the moon
he speaks to her all the words she's heard too many times before
and pretty soon she just lets his voice fade away
she thinks
this was a gradual steel frost that started with cold feet
but ended with numb hearts
it was once satisfying sex, but now no longer is
it was once filled with all the possibilities of new china or old stone
but now it's exaggerated and water-logged
no longer what these hands had intended and still I cry in my sleep

he always said I was too sensitive
but I say, at least I never meant to make him cry
at least I never meant to make him hurt that way
no, I never meant to make him cry
I never meant to make you hurt that way

yes it's true, I'm too sensitive but
he takes pleasure in my pain
yes it's true, I'm too sensitive but
he takes pleasure in my pain

and the unheard hours they fly by, she goes to the window
puts on a nightgown and brushes her hair
he's already asleep by the time she goes to lay back down
she thinks, my god, what I am doing here

her bones have grown tired of his hunger, of his grey eyes
and I feel that if I were to stay one more night here I'd die, or explode, or worse yet, just fade away
he always said I was too sensitive
if I dared to care so much, the world could kill me that way
I wonder if he's only half alive or if he simply has always been this inarticulate

but I say, at least I never meant to make him cry
at least I never meant to make him hurt that way
no, I never meant to make him cry
I never meant to make him hurt that way

yes it's true, I'm too sensitive but
he takes pleasure in my pain
yes it's true, I'm too sensitive but
he takes pleasure in my pain

she gets out of bed and looks at her feet as though they were the wings for her freedom
she gets up and goes to the drawer
it's a moment in which anything can happen
instead she gets out some clothing, puts them in a bag
and leaves him sleeping while she heads for the door

In the meanwhile

Ok so right now Im working on my"bucket list" so far i have about 25 things written but I want to get atleast 50 or 100 so I just saved the post but it is yet to be published so in the meanwhile Ima just blog about music.
I been listening to CocoRosie for about 2 years now.Their voice and style is really orginal and this one song "Terrible Angels" stuck with me so go and listen....