Tuesday, August 25, 2009

blog commitment?

I feel like I havent been a "steady" blogger or as someone likes to state "what happened to my blogger commitment?

A few months ago around the start of my summer vacation me and my bestie went back to the good ol high school for this art alumni show. All the AP Art kids came back to show their art and what they are doing in their career art wise. And let me tell you they all look the same I really hoped someone showed up with a really bad nose job, ya know to keep the conversation flowing. As the night got older I realized how much I miss high school, but as soon as I felt that nostalgic feeling some annoyin 15 year old made me glad I did'nt have to deal with their squeaky prepubscent voices any more.

Me and Stephanie and some other high school friends sneaked into one of the old art rooms. We went to the 'loft' upstairs in the room which was a studio where all the AP kids kept their art and chilled.I had my camera and I captured. My hands desired to be dusty by charcoal again.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

where was I??

Bonjour! I been listening to wayy too much Beyonce lately besides that

I have no thoughts.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

No more 'Prep'

Sassy ladies from the left (Taylor aka "the public school one", Kelli! and Camille)
So NYC Prep ended last night. The season finale was everything I wanted and more. Jessie's Operation Smile event was a major success. Camille meet up with Jessie to discuss her future with Operation Smile. Jessie wasnt having it she totally dissed Camille telling her that "there is the Facebook group she should joined" umm HELLO DUH!! PC got his acceptance letter for Occidental College in LA. and what is even more shocking is that PC actually showed an ounce of humility when he apologized to fashion designer Carmen Marc Volvo, about bringing his "downtown vampire" entourage to his show, which could've put Jessie's internship with the designer in jeopardy. Even the pseudo player Sebastian decided to have his own charity event. It was about giving portable and clean drinking water to people in Africa, kudos Sebastian Kudos.However he went back to his wannabe player ways b y stating "its also good because girls like that kinda stuff" or somethinbg along those lines like that.At Sebastian's event he offered Kelli (oops i forgot its Kelli!) a chance to sing at the event since she is an aspiring singer, and surprisingly she does have a good voice, a little nasally at time , but hey she's only 17.
For what it wads NYC Prep will never be forgotten, Atleast for me anyway. It took the viewers to a place where you have to trade your eyeballs for diamonds to really see.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

picture perfect

All I ever wanted was a happy family.

For all of you who have that please cherish it. I get soo jealous when I see people and their relationships with their moms/dads. I just wonder "why me?" its cliche I know, but why I don't I have a relationship like most of my friends with their rents. It sucks not having any real family relationships besides my older brother. Nor is it fun to fill my life with material things to comfort me. Material objects is like a mother to me. So when I see shows like NYC Prep and these kids are not only beyond wealthy, but have parents who care for them, its just everything I dont have, so the show fills a void. They say money doesnt buy happiness, but if you dont have happiness you have money so thats not so bad. But if you dont have money and you dont have happiness, it leaves you with nothing.

It just sucks growing up and not having anyone or a logic thinking adult. So when I grew up i thought perhaps my mom will stop being selfish and do things for me instead for her benefit.Bc as a child me and my bro always was there for her so maybe she will do her parenting later on NO she didnt. Now at 20 years old she is still all for self.

This basically sums it all up::::

Fall 2008 I was having a hard time with my sciences classes and being the perfect premed student. So I told my mom " I dont know if I can do this anymore, its too hard, I dont know if I have what it takes to become a doctor." I looked at my mom waitng for the typical supportive pep talk of " dont worry just keep trying hard." Instead she replied by saying " Well I never reallly saw you becoming a doctor anyway, I dont think it meant for you, try something else."

I love her motivating motherly words of wisdom...

Sunday, August 2, 2009

just call me grannie panties, Hello,Roaring 20's

I'm 20 today!!

I should be estastic right?But, Im not.

Not being a teen anymore isn't something I'm happy about. My first actual adult year and I'm not exactly sure how to handle it or what to think of it. I was a teen for 6 years 13-19 and it was the best years of my life, new experiences and first year of high school first day of college ,senior year, hanging out with your crew after school, senior prom, first crushes and everything all teen years. Twenties is all about getting the career, the internship and getting your shit together. Finding the major thats going to lead you to the 7 figure career.(Im not settling for 6 figures sorry). Finding a bf, who can be a fiance (more mid-late 20's) , but still all of the pressure of the Roaring 20's. And Im feeling really old. I know soo many teens and the fact that I'm not one anymore makes me feel matronly.

I am however very glad and fortunate that I was able to live for 20 years, two whole decades, well here is for another 20 more and 20 more and 20 more and 20 more after that!!!