Thursday, August 6, 2009

picture perfect

All I ever wanted was a happy family.

For all of you who have that please cherish it. I get soo jealous when I see people and their relationships with their moms/dads. I just wonder "why me?" its cliche I know, but why I don't I have a relationship like most of my friends with their rents. It sucks not having any real family relationships besides my older brother. Nor is it fun to fill my life with material things to comfort me. Material objects is like a mother to me. So when I see shows like NYC Prep and these kids are not only beyond wealthy, but have parents who care for them, its just everything I dont have, so the show fills a void. They say money doesnt buy happiness, but if you dont have happiness you have money so thats not so bad. But if you dont have money and you dont have happiness, it leaves you with nothing.

It just sucks growing up and not having anyone or a logic thinking adult. So when I grew up i thought perhaps my mom will stop being selfish and do things for me instead for her benefit.Bc as a child me and my bro always was there for her so maybe she will do her parenting later on NO she didnt. Now at 20 years old she is still all for self.

This basically sums it all up::::

Fall 2008 I was having a hard time with my sciences classes and being the perfect premed student. So I told my mom " I dont know if I can do this anymore, its too hard, I dont know if I have what it takes to become a doctor." I looked at my mom waitng for the typical supportive pep talk of " dont worry just keep trying hard." Instead she replied by saying " Well I never reallly saw you becoming a doctor anyway, I dont think it meant for you, try something else."

I love her motivating motherly words of wisdom...


  1. I'm glad you have your brother so that you don't have to face everything alone.

    By the way, I don't think you should try something else (unless YOU want to), but I can definitely see you as a doctor. I'm not just saying that because I'm your friend, but knowing you - if you want something that bad, you'll go and get it.

  2. aww thanx J, yea my bro is awesum and thank god i having awesum friendss too :))

    my mom is just complicated, to say it nicely...